In "Drama Queens", Charlotte laments being single, and comes up with an oversimplified solution to search for the man in her dreams. I find myself relating to her as she shows up with a self-help book over breakfast with her girlfriends. She's enthused while discussing the application of business strategies to finding her mate. I can relate to this because being a loner that I am, I find myself searching for answers in books, because I've long given up, failing to find answers in my past conversations with friends and family.
Like Charlotte, I feel the need to be with someone. As they say, I am not getting any younger. But really I find myself in a dilemma. I don't want a relationship. The truth is, I want romance to be around whenever I need it to be. Otherwise, I want to be by myself, and to enjoy the beauty of being lonely. I know, I am selfish. But I'm just being honest with what I want.
I've been in two long relationships. Both came to an end in a manner that was not so peaceful. Mark cheated on me, and I ended my relationship with Erick by cheating on him. I feel that those two relationships made me experience it all. The beauty of "love" as all emotions are there, the pain, the joy, and the sorrow that comes with losing it. Starting with everything - feeling that everything is aligned, and at some uncertain point, feelings die down and the emotions that once made me feel ecstatic is gone with it.
I do not fear having a romantic relationship... just that based on my experience, maybe it isn't all worth it if it were to end.
But then again, the character of Charlotte resonates something within me. Perhaps a childhood fantasy of having a prince charming. The hope of meeting someone special in the most unexpected manner - when Charlotte met Tray in a near-death vehicular accident. Somewhere buried deep within me is a memoir of being a hopeless romantic. I somehow fancy meeting someone who has it all together in a surprising manner.
Will i ever?
