The Value of a Woman

Today differs from my usual I-don't-want-to-get-out-of-bed Sunday. Having slept early at 1am last night, I spontaneously woke up really early to start my day. I planned so much for today because I envisioned this day to be special for it is mother's day. Unfortunately, things did not go well as planned and life happened again so I wasn't able to do execute any of my plans to commemorate my mother today. Nevertheless, I had an emergency plan of ordering food for lunch or dinner to celebrate at the very least. I greeted my mother this morning before she went to church. She looks pleased and when I asked her what she wanted for lunch, she told me she intended to cook and asked me not to get her anything instead. Pfft mothers. Sometimes they devalue themselves having been ridden by the usual household tasks that they do every day and all day. I don't know why it's commonplace for mothers to disregard their own happiness for the sake of getting things done. Perhaps some muchaha spread gossip that mothers should obsess over prioritizing household chores ahead of themselves just so they can relax and chill being yayas instead.

On a more serious note, this made me think about the value of a woman. Sushmita Senn, the famed 90's, Ms Universe gained her crown because she answered the question, "What is the essence of a woman?" She answered, "Just being a woman is God's gift that all of us must appreciate. The origin of a child is a mother, and is a woman. She shows a man, what sharing, caring and loving is all about. That is the essence of a woman." I know it's an award-winning answer, but if we scrutinize carefully, is that really the essence of a woman? To have a child and be beside her man? I just feel that there's more to being a woman that just being feminized to fulfill society's imposed obligations of being a wife and a mother. What happens to the rest of us who decides not to marry? Or to bear a child? Does that makes us less of a woman? I'm afraid I honestly don't care what society thinks of me since I am single and unattached at 34. But I am concerned with how society treats women given her relative value to men. The assignment of gender-based roles is so historical, and if it continues to persist in a certain society, it is a reflection of poor progress in a civilization. Women will be limited to cooking, cleaning, and doing household chores that's expected of her. Men will be limited to putting food on the table. In the purest sense, such gender-roles do not only devaluate women, but it puts less value on the entirety of human beings. What then is our deference to Bonobos, or to chimpanzees who have gender-assigned roles to their household? It shouldn't take eons for human kind to figure this out.

While the nature of things relies on women to nurture an offspring, women should not be limited to such feminized idealizations. Women should put more purpose to their lives aside from being in the household, and taking care of their children. We should achieve more, dream more, and step outside the boundaries that society pressures us into. I am at the pinnacle of my 30's wherein I am expected to marry and "settle down". While I dream of sharing a life with someone, I also dream of contributing to the advancement of knowledge and application of brain and spine surgery. Living in a historical post-war society makes it difficult for me to find balance in achieving both. I've had a series of long-term relationships that made me realize what it means to "share a life", and so far, none has progressed since then. I'm still in the Neanderthal stage of learning the art and science of neurosurgery, and I have no definite timeline as to when I can find solace in any of my achievements. In spite of the odds, I still continue to value myself as a woman that I want to be. The value of a woman is akin to the value of a man. The natural order of things requires one exist with the other in order to progress and make significant contributions to the society and human evolution in a manner that we will never understand.