On being lost

Not only do I feel lost, but I am lost. All the aspects of my life are coming down the drain. I've gotten old enough to realize that I barely have any functional friends left because everyone is busy taking care of their issues in life. My home, is no longer mine. I've lost a family who cares deeply for me.. or might have realized there never was. They only cared when I am facing the odds of my health. I lost mentors whom I respected so much. They weren't as respectable as I thought. They are capable of being unreasonable, egotistic, unkind, and uncaring. I feel lost in an uncaring world because I was made to believe that I live in a safe and loving world. How do I live my dreams in this harsh reality? How do I thrive? I do not know. I no longer possess the confidence I once had. I am in a dark place, and I do not want to be rescued. I want to see the light for myself. I do not know how to move on with grace. Lord help me find it within me.